At least make sure they are 18
Why
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
