don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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