why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
