Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
