If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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