You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
