I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize