We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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