i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
