my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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