Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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