I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
