Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
