Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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