Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
