the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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