brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
