the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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