Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
