either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
