I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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