Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
