i think my mom watched the whole time
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize