I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
