Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ok first of all what the fuck
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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