So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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