there's paper in my vomit.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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