whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Green mimosas i think yes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
