if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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