you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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