the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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