Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
