she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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