I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
