At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
