What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize