grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't think brook has ever known best
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
jump out the window naked night went bad
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
