I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
