uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
how does that bad decision feel?
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