I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
