I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
