Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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