What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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