The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
