bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
