the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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