Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
