if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my shit smells like andre
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
