that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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