he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
