R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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