This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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