Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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