the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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