i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
