dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
