in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize