he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
