my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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