We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
