he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize