So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
