ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
